Episode 35 | Advice Line: Painful Anal, Menstrual Sex, BDSM Mentoring, Female Masturbation for Beginners
Listener questions and comments on topics including terrible sex advice, accidental anal, the challenges of a small woman taking a big cock in the ass, health benefits of menstrual sex and easy ways to deal with the mess, BDSM mentoring and helping a submissive you’re not sexually involved with find a dom, and some advice for a young woman who can’t figure out how to enjoy masturbation.
Show Links:
Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women and Couples by Jack Morin (At Amazon)
Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Sex
The Expert Guide To Advanced Anal Sex (DVD) (At Tristan’s Site)
Sponsored By: AdamAndEve.com, enter the code “DARKAGE” at checkout to get HALF OFF just about any item, FREE shipping, three FREE porn DVDs and a FREE sexy surprise.
Direct Download: Sexual-Dark-Age-035-Advice-Line-Vol-12.mp3
Ok, so your latest episide does finally force me to write a commentary on the Bell. I, for one, am not a great lover of the Bell, as used presently. I am not opposed to it, and do not say stop using it, but I wanted to let you know that I am not fully satisfied with the Bell, again as currently used. I agree the concept is sound and could be expanded. For instance the Bell for when she blushes, and a gong (small desk type) when her nipples perk up about something during the conversation. The thought that there is a signal (such as the Bell) that occurs adds to the reality of the PodCast. It definietely adds a reality to your PodCast that makes it unlike so many dial up women of the night that sit knitting a sweater for little Johnie as they get paid to say they are naked in a hot tub with a Dildo. (Or some such setup)
I find that your use of the bell seems to sporadic and at times seems to be trying to cause her to blush. This does seem to vary from Podcast to PodCast. So I guess we all being imperfect humans such things happen. No, please do not stop using the Bell, this was only to let you know that at least one person is not 100% in favor of the bell, more like 70%. I do thouragly enjoy your PodCasts, and think your format is unique and makes it very interesting.
As a side note, even though I cannot imagine J.V. ever blushing, I hope someday she rings the Bell on you for such an event. 🙂
Thanks for the well-crafted commentary. I like the idea of the desk gong, and your suggestion actually has me thinking ‘ mini xylophone’ so I have all the standard notes available.
I’m not shocked that my bell use seems sporadic. There are a lot of times that I could ring it and don’t because I don’t want to derail her train of thought when she’s in the middle of something, and though she blushes pretty reliably there are other times that the topics aren’t inspiring her as much as others. I will, however, assure you that I’m never trying to make her blush. It happens so often anyway that it would feel like shooting fish in a barrel =D
Thanks so much J.V. and Shara. I really appreciate the advice.
My husband is currently away on a military training mission, so I’m stuck reading and planning until he gets back. I will let you know how things go though.
We’ll look forward to hearing back from you 🙂
Just wanted to say thanks for covering my question in this episode. Useful, helpful and as always, entertaining. You both seem like a match made in heaven (at least for listeners) 🙂
You’re welcome, I’m glad the advice was helpful. Let us know how things work out 🙂
JV and Shara: Love the podcast! refreshing, new, and i find that i agree with much of what you say. i have been sharing bits of the podcast with my partner to start to broach subjects that have been taboo or difficult to bring up out of the blue, and our play has benefited from it. thanks!
one comment and one suggestion. comment – i too have to confess that i am not wild about the bell. maybe once or twice an episode, but it is kind of distracting if it goes on too much. a bell budget might be a good idea, and should be equal opportunity, like tim suggested.
one suggestion – maybe take a bit of time in an upcoming episode to go over things like the bathroom wall, best way to comment, send in email for the advice line, etc. kind of like a “interact with us” one stop shop summary.
looking forward to each podcast. thanks again! j.
I’ll definitely do a general housekeeping and ‘how to reach us’ segment on the next listener mail show. It’s hard to go through all of it in every episode so I settle for the McNuggets in the outro most of the time, but going through it all at once is a great idea.
Serious question: Considering that I don’t blush, what do you think Shara should ring a bell for?
I TOTALLY agree with you about that damn bell. I enjoy listening to the podcast, but whenever I hear that damn bell I immediately turn it off. I haven’t been able to get through a podcast in a while. That damn bell might cause me to find someone else to listen too
Oral during the Flo: JV one thing I want to touch on about a couple things you mentioned. I too believe that there is no reason for the fun to stop just because Flo came to visit. The diaphragm is a great idea BUT a CAUTION ….if this partner is non-monogamous to you and you get that “little tinge of blood taste” you have no protection. IF you can taste blood you can get any blood borne diseases passed along. An additional alternative to oral during the flow is if she cleans up and puts in a tampon. you will be able to lick till your hearts content without that taste. She gets that full feeling. After a few orgasms the tampon is safe to remove and you get to jump in. A rubber in the rain is always a safe bet.
Thanks
You guys snuck in a couple of extra questions on me. Anal sex concerns were addressed well by you and my suggestions about anal with hemorrhoids apply to all anal sex. I didn’t hear you address a gradual stretching. I know the sponsors sell butt plugs of increasing size including one that goes in smaller then can be inflated to stretch the hole to a fun size. Indianna sounds really sincere so while he is away she may want to get a set of 3 plugs. Wear the smallest for an increasing duration each day of week 1. (need lots of lube for this). Week 2 move to the next bigger size and again slowly increase the time you are wearing it. Week 3 use the next larger size and follow the same pattern. Masturbation with the plugs in will also help you get used to sex with the plug in place and get your brain to connect a full ass with great orgasms.
you may want to go slower and stretch for a few minutes day one, and use the smallest size for a few weeks for a slower buildup.
CAUTIONS:
It is possible you may temporarily overstretch and have a bit of “anal leakage” if so stop the but plugs until things return to normal.
If you feel any irritation, bleeding, or other discomfort stop using the plug.
Carefully wash the plug in soap [castile soap or dish soap are gentle)and water, rinse well and let dry between uses.
If you know any trusted kinky professional (not a stage hypnotist please) hypnotists you may be able to learn a rapid relaxation technique to get rocked from the bottom anytime you want.
More on Diaphragm: Shara is keeping me in mind and busy – thanks.
The diaphragm is designed to be worn for up to 6 hours before intercourse and 6 hours after intercourse – typically this is not during Flo. My research indicates it may be safe to leave one in for 4-6 hours depending on the volume of bleeding in a normal period. Now Shara can really get the 3+ hour licking she was asking for in the podcast.
It would not be a good idea to use the diaphragm in that manner more than once a day. The Flo needs to Flo for a reason so let it.
There are some women who safely use a “moon cup” diaphragm in lieu of a tampon or pads for their entire period. I can’t recommend for or against at this point only because I don’t have any real experience and I can’t find much about it in my sources.
I hope this helps
Thanks, these updates are going on the next listener mail episode. 🙂