Episode 10 | The Art of Smoking Pole: Why Blowjobs Are Important, How To Suck A Dick and How Shaving Can Get You Blown More Often
A thorough explanation of why guys love getting head so much, why no one has an excuse not to go down, and lots of tips on how to be a better cocksucker. Includes The myth that it’s demeaning to women; the options to spit, swallow or wear it, how to make jizz taste better, how shaving your balls can get you blown better and more often, general blowjob tips.
Sexual-Dark-Age-010-Art-of-Smoking-Pole.mp3
You know I had a playmate once who wasn’t very stoic on the idea of blowjobs. She only finished one with me once, and it was the first time, after that it was more of a couple seconds and then an annoying “Ok you’re done.” Honestly back then I wasn’t really that concerned with it, I felt like if she didn’t want to do it then she shouldn’t bother in the first place.
However it really started to bother me when she would randomly get angry with me over giving her oral. Looking back it still confuses me, because I didn’t and don’t expect something in return whenever I do something sexual with a woman. I do it because I find myself attracted to them and because I enjoy it myself. But the fact that I could give her multiple orgasms from oral and tended to go about doing it for a lengthy bit of time made her feel guilty like she was suppose to give me something back in return.
She of course didn’t want to give something back in return as I said above, so the guilt made her angry enough at times to say she hated any time previously that I would even do anything to her. Eventually she broke up with me for whatever reason and I decided not to let that particular fish back in the boat when it bit the line again.
Bringing us to some kind of point. I’d have to say that I don’t like blowjobs at all if the woman isn’t feels like its a chore, because I look at any kind of sex as the highest form of physical intimacy. If a girl is giving me a blowjob and showing me just how much she doesn’t like it, then I don’t enjoy it and would have rather not had it, but like you said that kind of backdrop gets washed away when my mind thinks I’m getting head.
To prevent this from getting overtly long i’ll conclude by saying that every woman should enjoy giving head because they enjoy pleasing their man, not because they like the feel of it, the taste of it, or the very idea of it (although they of course certainly can enjoy that). But because they’re showing their man a type of affection that can literally not be shown in any other fashion.
I think you nailed it in your fourth paragraph. If a woman feels like it’s a chore, she’s not going to be good at it anyway. Plus, doing it in the first place is going to give her an attitude.
I’d hope that taking a more philosophical look at blowjobs (as I suggested in this episode) would give most women cause to re-think their attitude towards them. As we’ve both said now, there literally is no substitute for sucking cock when it comes to making a man feel appreciated.
I have trouble giving oral sex. I will do it, but it’s not my favorite thing. The reason being, my husband is rather large (in girth) and I have a hard time to keep my mouth open before the joints in my jaw begin to hurt and my teeth begin to drag. I switch back and forth between hand and mouth, but at one point I just finish with my hand. Sometimes if it’s taking a really long time, he will finish with his own hand while I suck his nipples (he LOVES that). Only a handful times have I allowed him to cum in my mouth. I don’t know what it is, but he fills my mouth up so much with his dick, that there’s like no more room left in there (or so it feels) and I literally gag. Seriously, I heave, and I’m afraid I will literally throw up right on top of him. I have succesfully completed oral and swallowed with other smaller men, and I really did enjoy it with them much more. Any suggestions?
You can try pulling back exactly to the point where your teeth hit his crown to make room in your mouth. Shara does that with me, and the gentle scrape from the teeth when they hit adds a nice little twist to the orgasm too. Mentally you’ll know there’s plenty of space in there to keep you from gagging or anything (since you’re intentionally preparing to take the load).
To give your jaw a break you can focus more on using your hands. Make sure to keep his shaft nice and slippery, but focusing on doing as much as you can with your mouth (without discomfort for you) and using your hands to pick up where your lips can’t reach will make you a much happier cocksucker; which means you’ll automatically get better at it.
I’ll talk about this (and your other questions) on Listener Mail 10, which should be roundabout Episode 31
Thanks, JV! On another note, I started putting these podcasts on hubby’s ipod for him to listen to. He’s loving them. He hasn’t caught up yet, but I can hardly wait for him to be caught up with the rest of us. There’s so much I’m curious about and I want to explore with him, but I want him to hear it from you first. Thank you JV and Shara!
You’re most welcome, let us know what you think after you listen to episode 30 🙂
I agree entirely that the desire to please one another in the bedroom is a massive tick in the intimacy box that can only help strenghten a relationship. It is not the act that is important to the relationship but the intention behind it.
The only unconditional love is between parents and their children.
Women who refuse to give blowjobs or make the man feel so uncomfortable that he wouldn’t enjoy it anyway should realise that in time their man will consider looking elsewhere. Whether he eventually does stray or not depends on all aspects of the relationship combined.
The bottom line is that if a woman values her man she needs to keep him happy and nothing says I want to make you happy more than a blowjob!
Thank you so much for your podcast. It has really helped me become a lot more free with my sexuality. I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian household and am working on improving my sexual relationship with myself and my husband and get rid of the shame–(your religion/shame podcast–despite your critics–was my thoughts exactly). I really took it to heart recently when I heard your podcast regarding giving oral sex. I would….if I could. I cannot get my jaw wide enough to accept my hubby. Even my dentist complains that she cannot get into my mouth for a cleaning. I felt so bad when when you said basically that’s there’s no good reason that women cannot give head and that if a woman does not, she’s a “lousy fuck.” I don’t want to be that. Have you ever ran across this issue and comment on this? I don’t believe I am a “lousy fuck” because of not being able to give head due to my jaw, but I feel deficient none the less! Thanks JV!
I was a little disappointed with the deep throating advice of “Well, I am just a natural” Maybe you talk about it on listener mail. I haven’t gotten that far yet. I am sure most of us gals listening are not naturals. How does your lady take it in her throat without throwing up? Maybe you have a friend you can invite on who actually had to work at it and get better and has some techniques or advice. My guy is really long and thick. My gag reflex is really strong. I have tried to use the numbing spray and it helps me get a little deeper but not much. Remember, Shana, most of us have not had the experience of having your man teach us for years how to be better and/or born with the same talents.
I thought this was an intriguing episode, from a man’s perspective. I actually deserved a bell DING, but was laughing again about Baby Batter, (much cuter than Trouser Trout or Cock Snot).
Anyways my wife blows me well and has some tricks but she hates cum because of the consistency and texture. So we have never been to Swallowtown or even Spitsville. As soon as we get close, oral ends and she’s on my cock and I pump it in her hotbox.
Is this a valid excuse?
I’ve tried to even change the flavor with fruits, juice and a cum smoothie with no luck.