From the “you might not believe this shit” file, until a couple days ago in Louisiana, giving a blowjob or letting someone fuck you in the ass could land you in prison and put you on the sex offender registry for life. That’s right…consensual blowjobs were felonies. Now they’re just misdemeanors. Wait…what?

From RT.com: Legislation limiting sex acts have been on the Louisiana books since the early 1800s, seven years before it even achieved statehood. Up until just now, soliciting certain sex acts, including oral and anal sex, was a big no-no in Louisiana. A conviction could earn you felon status and anyone found guilty of the crime was forced to register as a sex offender — something that was possible only in the great state of Louisiana. The solicitation of “unnatural carnal copulation” also meant longer jail terms and the branding of “sex offender” on state-issued driver’s licenses.

It also seems that with this law, while not specifically directed at prostitutes, almost all the convicts are female and 75% of them are black. Nope, nothing racist or sexist going on here, folks. Not to mention this pretty much makes all homosexual play a felony. I’m sure that was a coincidence.

The new bill, enacted by Senator JP Morrell, decriminalized the so-called crimes from felony to misdemeanor status. That means that first offenders that pay for, well, pretty much anything other than vaginal intercourse, face up to six months in jail and a maximum of $500. Pro-prostitution advocates may say that it is still a little harsh, but it’s a big step from the olden days of — well, yesterday — when sex workers were treated like child molesters. Such will be the same case now, but it will take two convictions to achieve that status.

So, they’re calling it a victory because blowjobs are now only misdemeanors. Certainly progress, but how does an ancient, bigoted law like this survive at all? Some other Dark Age sex laws:

Even if Louisiana has joined the twenty-first century, that doesn’t mean the rest of America has followed suit. A 2003 Supreme Court ruling in Lawrence v Texas found that intimate consensual sexual conduct was protected under the Fourteenth Amendment and invalidated sodomy laws in 14 states across the US, but seven US states still have legislation on the books that makes sodomy illegal.

The state of Idaho still punishes “every person who is guilty of the infamous crime against nature” to no fewer than five years behind bars (I.C. § 18-6605). Anal sex can get you 15 years time in Michigan (MCL § 750.158) and felony status in North Carolina (G.S. § 14-177).

DC politicians take note, too: Virginia law still says “carnally know[ing]” anyone with the anus or mouth is a Class 6 felony. That means cunnilingus, fellatio, anilingus and sodomy are all still illegal on the other side of the Potomac. If you’re reading this in the Pengaton, this means you, Department of Defense!

The original article is a good read.