Episode 5 | The Shame Game

Episode 5 | The Shame Game

This episode examines shame as it pollutes modern sexuality, primarily in relation to the efforts of the Religion Industrial Complex.  Fair warning, this is an extremely critical look at the institution of religion that some listeners have described as a rant.



Commenting area

  1. Felt ranty. Boring even. It would have been better if you’d just stated your premises and brought out a valid modus polens or something. Instead it felt like you felt the need to set up the nail, hammer it down, and then continue hammering for a good 20 minutes.

    Still like your stuff, but this particular episode seemed to drag on about the same general topic. All in all, it seemed less profound, and kind of like a digression from the actual topic.

    Also, if felt less satire-ish throughout the majority. Listening to the previous episodes I couldn’t help but laugh, but during this one I was just waiting for you to move off the universal background requirement that everyone try to open their minds a little and relax, and get to some more individualistic understanding of practical purpose.

    • All fair points, it’s tough to go anywhere near religion without risking “ranty.” I hesitated to approach this topic early on, but I decided it was better to just bite the bullet because I need to be able to refer back to it.

      A lot of what I covered is pretty much already out in the mainstream consciousness these days, but I didn’t want to just assume all my listeners had heard it before. In hindsight I probably could have skipped a lot of the “background” stuff, and I didn’t originally intend this episode to be quite so long.

      In any case, I’m glad you plan to keep listening, and future episodes will be more of the format and tone you’re used to.

  2. I agree with gib that this episode wasn’t as funny as the others, but I still laughed a lot. After a strict Catholic upbringing that I’m still trying to get over I like to see someone willing to explain their ideas instead of just pointing fingers and calling names.

    I’d like to hear more ideas on how to deal with shame and get past it, so I hope to hear you spend more time on that.

    Still listening and loving it.

  3. Another great episode! I didn’t find it boring but perhaps it’s because I’m a female who was DEFINITELY raised with the “SHAME ON YOU” for bad behavior which often stemmed from “religious” views. It wasn’t quite as fun as the other 4 episodes but perhaps that’s because you didn’t give us any homework :-). I think a very good homework assignment would have been to go out and do something that normally you would be scolded for doing such a shameful thing (sexually oriented of course…lol) and do it over and over and over again until you no longer feel the shame. Now, should that take forever…so be it ;-).

    All joking aside, thank you for this episode and I look forward to the next one. Will you give us all a hint of when that will be?

    • That’s a great idea for homework, but I’m not sure I want to push everyone in exactly that way quite yet. I promise I’ll save it for later. I always try to put shows out about every couple weeks. I might stretch it to 3 once in a while if I have to, but you guys seem to be loving it so I’ll try to keep it coming.

  4. The first four episodes were great. Couldn’t wait for the fifth. Very disappointed. You kept trashing religion and kept following it up with disclaimer after disclaimer that you don’t judge. It was the most anti religious rant i think i have ever heard. Quite a turn off. I think this could have been done a little, no, a lot differently. I understand the obstacles we have created for ourselves through the “moral Boundaries” that have been instilled in us. Your suggestion that religion is useless, an obstacle, in order to truly want to have a great sex life may be more prevalent in an entirely open “lets everyone just have crazy animal like sex anytime, anywhere world.” In this regard, we are not animals. we have dignity and choose to opt for a more free and open sexual relation in the privacy of our own sex lives with the people we choose to have it with. though your arguments are thought provoking, i think they are at the extreme. I am reserving whether or not i will continue based on your next show.

  5. Pete from OZ October 13, 2010 at 7:46 am · · Reply

    I actually listened to this out of order – so heard ep6 and the mention of the warning etc and whilst I expected a ranty episode…you made the clear arguments vs belief/faith and *organised* religion.. For me its a simple test.. I’m agnostic, but have been brought up with an understanding of religion.. and all a person has to say is *they* choose to believe what they believe and that they have *faith*.. which by it’s nature does not require or demand proof.. it shows they understand.. and not blindly accept.. and experience has shown me, people with this attitude are as open and free thinking as many of us sane individuals..

    And for those who take the holier than thou attitude with regard to sex (and don’t get me started on Christine O’Donnell)..
    “Who gave you the right to question how your God made me”

    My only criticism of this episode was it was more anti organised religon.. with not much on the how to help people deal with shame & guilt from such an upbringing….

    .. although I suspect the answer to *that* is actually to listen to the current & future podcasts !!!

    • You pretty much nailed it Pete. Shame is such a pervasive issue that moving forward I’m going to mention it in relation to whatever other topic I happen to be covering, and not try to get at it all at once. My original intent for episode 5 was to talk more about dealing with it, but the train came off the tracks a little, and once I saw how long that episode was running I just didn’t want to stretch it any more.

  6. San Francisco, CA October 22, 2010 at 1:18 am · · Reply

    Great episode. Maybe not what others were looking for, but I enjoyed it. Also, as far is it not being as funny as other episodes, I think humor should take a back seat to getting people to think critically the way this episode did.

  7. JV, I am running a bit behind on episodes so I was surprised to hear your disclaimer. As a recovering catholic (home,grade school x 8 years, high school, and work for a few years after that)I loved this episode and laughed the whole way through it. Many parts of your ‘rant’ were plucked whole cloth from my brain. The number of reformed catholics I meet in the BDSM scene is incredible. The ‘punishment equals love” from your parents story.

    I have written more 4 times and could probably fill a blog page all myself.
    YA done great and this needs no apologies.
    Thanks for the great job on the podcast.

    • Thanks OGP, I’ve actually gotten way more positive feedback than negative on this episode, but on balance I thought it was only fair to let people know up front that it was a different flavor than the usual fare.

      And it is truly amazing how many recovering catholics are into the scene, way more than coincidence there 🙂

  8. I listened to this because I thought it would be about shame…but it’s mostly a criticism of organized religion. I’ve enjoyed your last episodes, and I am an agnostic, however, you were critical and closed-minded in this episode. Regardless of how valid your arguments may have been, you went about it in a disrespectful fashion, which made it…not particularly credible. It started to feel like hate speak. I understand that you talked about organized religion vs. faith…but not all organized religion is bad. Nothing is absolute, and everything in moderation. I understand that you have your first amendment rights, but only so far as they do not infringe on the rights of others, and you were very rude to many people in this particular episode. As much as you talk about how accepting you are of homosexuals, maybe you ought to take a look at what you think of people who have religion in their lives.

    I am not sure whether I will keep listening. As much as your ideas are good, your presentation needs some work.

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