Christian Blogger Claims 70% of Women Don’t Deserve Orgasms
UPDATE: They made pretty quick work of deleting my comment (below) along with several others that didn’t tow the line. I thought I was actually pretty polite, and so were the other comments that got deleted. Oh well, a few people found this site through that article, and I guess a flicker of light is better than none at all.
No, that’s not exactly what she said, but it’s what this article boils down to. Presented as an exhibit for the prosecution, since once in a while the Sexual Dark Age raises its hand. Here are a few snippets, but please feel free to read the whole article over at Christianity Today, entitled “The Cult of the Orgasm.” If there’s a cult, now I’m pissed. I was not notified, and thus never given the opportunity to run for cult leader.
How should Christian women respond to the vibrator trend and its broader message of sexual empowerment?
…First, a few observations. A vibrator is a replacement — a simulator, if you will. It’s not a man, but it’s meant to resemble one. It’s straightforward, makes no demands, produces fairly consistent results. And it doesn’t smell, make rude noises, or wince when you cry. But neither can it hold you, stroke your hair, or make you coffee…
I believe the Japanese are working on one that does all that and mows the lawn too, actually.
…But not only is masturbation inherently focused on the needs of the self, it also involves trying to provide for those needs by oneself, instead of trusting God to know best whether the sexual intimacies of marriage are truly needed or best at the present stage…
If you really believe, how ’bout you fluff the muffin yourself and let him worry about shit like climate change, starvation and homelessness in supposedly civilized nations.
…Since masturbation without fantasy is rare if not impossible, the reasoning goes, it will always involve something clearly condemned by Jesus. Ergo, masturbation is sin…
I’m only kinda mocking here. For those who didn’t grow up with it, this article effectively embodies what fat old men have been selling to Christians for over a thousand years now. That’s the really scary part: she’s dead serious, and millions of pour souls agree with her. Every time I read something like this I feel like Rod Serling’s looking over my shoulder.
I, predictably, couldn’t resist commenting as follows:
It’s always sad to see a woman perpetuating religious misogyny. Physically AND psychologically masturbation is actually an extremely healthy activity. A lack of masturbation has been shown to significantly increase a man’s risk of prostate cancer, and since so many women passively accept lousy sex from their men (70% fake orgasms) you’re suggesting that 70% of women go without orgasms completely.
If this is what your god wants, tell me this…why did he give you a clitoris? It’s the only part of the human body (male or female) out of thousands whose sole purpose is sexual pleasure. It’s not normally stimulated through intercourse. Why do you have it at all? Was it a mistake?
The truth is that masturbation is healthy for the body, mind and spirit, and people who masturbate regularly are happier and healthier than those who don’t.
Please feel free to check out Episode 7 of my podcast, Ending the Sexual Dark Age, entitled (quite accurately) “Masturbation Is Good For You”
So, what do you guys think?
Ahh..! JV you nailed my recovering catholic sentiments exactly yet again.
i AM TRULY shocked THAT SUCH A FINE e-zine would CENSOR you thoughts. Imagine you, of all people, making them think and blush…OMG.
Keep up the good work
Hey JV, I’ve been meaning to make a comment to this effect for a while. I think you need to give credit to religious people who are endeavoring to change their religion’s repressive attitudes to sex.
While it’s disheartening that the article was published and your comment was removed, other comments show that there are Christians working to have this issue taken seriously.
There are a few sites talked about in the comments, one of the better ones is called The Marriage Bed, which has mostly sex-positive advice for married Christians. Have a look at the following article, it’s remarkably factual for by and for Christians:
The article points out that the Bible rules out things like threesomes and affairs, but there’s nothing wrong with married Christians having oral sex. Remembering your anecdote of a guy who wouldn’t accept a blowjob because ‘that’s demeaning’, I hope these kinds of resources can dispel religious myths about sex.
Some atheists and agnostics marry religious people, and as you mentioned in an early episode, many people ‘sleepwalk’ through religion. You might want to consider talking about or linking sex-positive sites for religious people (if you find good ones).
On a final note, have a look at the following video, it’s quite interesting:
One of the natural morals Haidt talks about is cleanliness/purity. People naturally feel that faeces is dirty, religion builds on that by telling people that vaginas are dirty and enjoying sex is sinful. As you mentioned before, people need to take precautions with anal sex. Religion gets purity/cleanliness very wrong, but you need to understand that religious teachings are built on concerns that made some sense 1-2000 years ago. Understanding where people are coming from is important when arguing against them.
Let me know your thoughts. -Questioner
I’ll be happy to discuss this on a future episode. Meanwhile, if anyone out there has links to sex-positive christian sites I’ll check out any link that gets posted.
If I get served shitty food in one restaurant, does that mean that ALL restaurants serve shitty food? Of course not. It kinda bugs me that people, after reading ONE article / blog like the one that you mentioned, get to paint all of us Christians with the broadest brush out there and imply that we’re ALL, every single one of us, screwed up in the head about sex, life, climate change, etc. etc…. Kinda pisses me off actually! (OK, I’ll admit that there are probably a lot more than that ONE article/blog out there that are just like that.) I know that I am in the minority of Christians, but our church’s men’s bible study actually has had some VERY frank and honest discussions about sex and relationships and we didn’t leave out the parts about masturbation, toys, and even kink and threesomes… and we couldn’t find a single thing specifically prohibiting enjoying the hell out of sex, anal sex, toys, kink, or any of that jazz. What the Bible really advocates is respect for the other person’s feelings and not doing anything to hurt them or to make them feel uncomfortable. Kinda like in the kink world, eh? Of course it also promotes a heterosexual, monogamous lifestyle, but for those of us who like a long term relationship with a partner that you get to know really, really well (the fact that she has a pussy and smells really pretty is definitely a bonus!) it all works out in the end. Am I “judging” those of you who like swapping, threesomes, gay sex….??? Absolutely not. It’s not my job. My personal mantra is that as long as you don’t criticize or try to convert ME, I won’t criticize or try to convert you. Someone have questions? Ask away. I’ll do my best to explain my beliefs to you. JD, just don’t let people paint “all Christians” with one big brush. You wouldn’t let me paint “all swingers” or “all bi-curious” or “all kinksters” with one big brush either, would you? Didn’t think so. Otherwise, I enjoy the show a great deal, and wish that more of my Christian brothers and sisters would tune in. I’ll do my part, but you’ve got to do yours!
Threesomes not biblical? Monogamy required by God? I think not….. Check Out Exodus 21:10 and a lot of other stories straight from the bible. I am sure Solomon and JV would have gotten along well. Solomon had quite a Harem, as well as his father, King David. What needs to be stressed is responsibility, not abstinence. Most hypocritical Christians completely ignore the inconvenient parts and replace it with their own agendas. This type of hypocrisy is very popular in the Catholic church, especially during the early time periods when they were executing non-converts as heretics in a way that make moslem fundamentalists of today look like…. well, like Sunday school teachers. Most of the western civilization’s issues with sex and sexuality were more determined by church politics of the dark ages.